A Letter to the Washing Machine

Dear Washing Machine,

We haven’t always seen eye-to-viewing window. Initially I was excited at your newness. But that excitement and relief dwindled when I saw that your non-handwash cycles take 56-60 minutes instead of the 20 minute cycles that I’ve grown accustomed to over my lifetime. I’ll admit that I’ve been not-so-secretly hoping for your demise – before our homeowners warranty for this year is up.

Needless to say, I was quite disappointed with you when I woke up this morning and noticed that the clothing that you contained was soaking wet. Not ‘just washed damp’ but ‘wring it out in the sink and it is still too wet’ wet. I sighed as I suggested you do a spin cycle to remedy the problem. Neither that or the added drain cycle helped – my clothing was still saturated.

I should be happy that you’re malfunctioning on your own, and not at the hands of a well placed wrench. But I fear that that small level of malfunction will not get me a new washing machine, just a lot of irritation. To add insult to injury, you proceeded to wash the next batch of clothing without a problem. I’m sure the dryer is also resenting you right now as it’s having to work double time to dry the mess that you left behind.

Please work as you should or have a complete breakdown so I can replace you with something that can properly wash three loads in the time that it takes you to complete one improper load.

Sincerely,
Sydney
The Management

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3 thoughts on “A Letter to the Washing Machine

  1. One of your best postings Syd. You’ve written some great ones but this one is written in a tone that is so real. Excellent. Thanks for the laughter and the winching.

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